We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
