im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
