Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
