But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize