i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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