id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
