I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well you can't waste a boner
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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