i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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