fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
