I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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