Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
