yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
