I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
