if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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