i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
