dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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