So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
