So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
