What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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