Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
