So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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