Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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