She is in my trunk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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