oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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