Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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