PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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