As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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