Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
