Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't just leave with hair like that
this is an emotional support booty call
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
