Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
