turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize