Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sarcasm needs its own font
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
