I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
