Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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