its not stalking. its research.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
