its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When did angry sex become our thing?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
