How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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