Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
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