C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
