I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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