Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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