It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
