it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
