so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
God I need to hump something, right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
