Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
