Yo dont text me then not text me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
