i don't like sucking hair
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
