we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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