Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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