we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize