holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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