somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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