About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
