theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The ass gains better be worth it
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