You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
