I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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