You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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