Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
