You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
