i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just cropdusted the office
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
