i don't like sucking hair
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
