kristin has been a bad kristin
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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