I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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