He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
